This past Saturday was an Excursion day here in the Dominican! This time it was "creeking" er... "rivering." So we all put on our very stylish water shoes, piled into the back of a truck, and headed out to the river. To our leaders, walking through the river meant: climbing/falling over slippery river rocks, wading through brown 38* water, and being suddenly whisked down-stream by an unforeseen current shift. It was actually quite fun, and once you had fallen in a couple of times, the water didn't seem quite so cold. :) One thing you've got to know about me though, is that I don't like murky water, deep water, currents, or surprises. Needless to say, this excursion was a test for me. The hardest part came toward the very end of our trip down the river. We had just made our way across to the other side, avoiding the rapids, and were entering the river again, were it would be just a short moment of creeking to our final destination where the beach was. I ended up in the middle of the pack with no one really near me in front, or behind. All of a sudden I got caught in a current and realized I couldn't touch and therefore couldn't stop myself. I panicked as I rushed past those who had already reached the beach and were standing on solid ground. Terrified, I watched them watch me pass them, and I cried out to God. And then my feet hit the sand. Just like that. I stumbled onto the beach, emotionally scrambled. I dumped my things and got as far away from other people and the river as possible, without leaving the beach. (It was a SMALL small beach!) Everybody eventually convened and people began swimming and jumping off the "cliffs" (more like giant rocks), while some people just laid out in the sun. I, however, shut down. I was done with the river, angry with the excursion, and upset that other people were having fun and not being careful. Then that Still Small Voice nudged me. Are you going to let this ruin the excursion and ruin your day?Yes! Yes, I am. But God is the God of Redemption! Even redemption of creeking excursions:) He was so very persistent, and finally I agreed that I was not going to allow that moment of losing control sour the river for me. So I ventured out into the water again and waded for a bit and watched some people jumping off the rocks. And it hit me: I need to do that. I need to trade this Fear for Trust. Crazy.
So I jumped off, not one, but two different "cliffs" and it was terrifying, but there was such freedom in it. Standing on the edge, toes curled around the rock, I was looking down at the exact spot in the river where I had been carried away by the current, and like a complete fool- I decided to throw caution to the wind. I jumped, and I met Joy in the splash. Because His ways are higher than mine.